Mr. Popper's Penguins

NOTE:  only saw this movie because of the penguins

RATING:  6.5/10


The GOOD:
     - PENGUINS!!! SO CUTE

     - Jim Carrey = instant LOL
     - The Murder She Wrote Lady ... aka Angela Lansbury
     - Penguins, Lovey was my favorite
     - Best Apartment ever!
     - Thomas Popper Sr. Awe *hugs*
     - The "P" Problem


The BAD:
     - Over dramatic kids
     - really cheesy bad guys
     - Jim Carrey goes insane!

     - Random bipolar old men
     - The "P" problem
     - Numb3rs guy gone creepy ass neighbor
     - Cheesey main character's relationship



The Penguins:

     Stinky

     Captain

     Loudy

     Bitey

     Lovey

     Nimrod

The relationship between Thomas Popper Sr. and Jr. is so cute.  Sr. travels everywhere around the world but always 'calls' home.  "Bald Eagle to Tippy Toes".  However the relationship between Jr. and his ex is lame, it was very obvious at the beginning that they were going to get back together.
The bad guy character could have done with a bit more work.  He seemed way too fake.  The first time you see him you don't believe that he is actually with the zoo because he was being all sketchy and calling an unknown person.  Then he turns out to be some random zoo guy who is an idiot.

     The "P" Problem
At the first I wasn't too sure what this was all about... then I got it.  It was cool but then it was so annoying it took a bit away from the movie.  The ending was funny though.  P meets Q = love and really bad wording.

and I do apologize for the overness of the penguins.

Season of the Witch

WARNING:  there will be spoilers

Season Of The Witch

     RATING:  0.5/10

I was really disappointed in this movie.  The trailer was decent, for a Nicolas Cage movie that is.  But this movie is literally one of the worst ones ever.  It lacked everything; acting, plot, characters, etc.  This movie made no sense at all and it sucked while doing it.  I don't think that I've ever been so glad to NOT go to the theater to see a movie.  I was going to but the Nicolas Cage factor won out.

And onto the interesting bits...
     1)  Lame plot:  'oh there is this witch that is causing everyone to die... lets kill her! No, wait lets take her to some crazy ass monks to then kill her.  And instead of us risking our lives to complete this stupid task lets make the non-talented knight do it and his weird sidekick.'
     - two hours completely wasted
Don't even get me started with the ending, for about 1.5 hours its all "kill the witch! No don't kill the witch" then the last 0.5 hour shows up and its all like "she was never a witch she's possessed! we must save her!" then everyone dies minus the young new knight and the girl.

     2)  Casting:  strong smelling villagers, crazy monks/little demon critters, lots of CGI, Nicolas Cage, some random guy with a cartoon voice, a short little weird man, a hot chick for the witch, creepy ass main monk person, and some random young hot guy that gets the girl in the end while everyone else dies.

     3)  Acting:  I'm just going to go with saying that the CGI was probably the best acting out of the whole movie.  The witch was creepy, so she did good but when there is a good actor surrounded by not so good ones, they get a lost.

     4)  Pretty-ness:  this movie had a darker look and feel to it, very good considering the idea behind the movie.  But it did make the actors look not as creepy as they should have been in some cases and just plain demented in others (not in a good way).  The music wasn't that rememberable, however the wolves were... they were probably the best part of the movie minus the part when Nicolas Cage dies.

As you may have noticed, I am not a fan of Nicolas Cage.  I did like the Sorcerer's Apprentice, mainly because of Jay Baruchel though.

Last word of warning:  you may loose some life once you watch this.

How Movies Have Ruined My Childhood

These are some movies that have ruined my childhood in some way... even very small.  This may become a series. LOL.
NOTE:  This is not a review of the movies... that will be along sometime.

     The Producers     RATING:  8/10
I have watched this movie around 7 times since it came out on dvd, that's when I found it.  The first time I watched it I noticed that Max was Timon off of The Lion King... this was ok... I could deal with Timon being a short fat creepy old man.  No harm done there.
I recently watched this movie in the past week and after it was over I imdb'd Leo Bloom... who is Simba off of The Lion King... Simba, the King ... is a small blue blanket wielding slobbering man.
Uma Thurman was very good in it though, and I always forget that Will Ferrel is in it.

     Star Wars     RATING:  7/10
Everything relates to Star Wars and/or Harry Potter... OR in this post The Lion King.
epic news... Mufasa is Darth Vader.  The most idolized good guy cartoon is the most idolized bad guy EVER!!! This should not exist!

     Harry Potter     RATING:  7/10
Hogwarts doesn't really exist!!!!! *cries* I really wanted to go.

Feedback is welcome!

16 - 20

16.     The Mechanic
17.     Fire and Ice:  The Dragon Chronicles
18.     Jonah Hex
19.     Prince of Persia
20.     Moulin Rouge

Ok, so this group of movies is a relatively good one.  Lots of action in The Mechanic, Fire and Ice: The Dragon Chronicles, Jonah Hex and Prince of Persia.... well that just leaves Moulin Rouge, the musical that has love and drugs.  Good times.

I will keep this brief, unless the viewers want a more in depth look at them.


16.     The Mechanic     RATING:  6/10
     PROS:  explosions, Jason Statham, Donald Sutherland, explosions, guns, explosions,
     CONS:  typical assassin movie:  there's lots of them running around lately, plot,
          It had a lame plot typical of assassin movies, but it was entertaining enough and it had Jason Statham... enjoyable but not original.  Funny in some spots too.

17.     Fire and Ice:  The Dragon Chronicles     RATING:  4/10
     PROS:  Gimly is in it...
     CONS:  LAME!
          There is no nice way to say this... this movie SUCKED HARDCORE.  However it was not the worst, it held your attention by being so confusing you just had to see it through.  But in the end STILL made no sense, and Gimly dies off screen.  I usually don't like to give the ending of movies away... but this movie isn't worth it.  It passed the time, and was mildly amusing... I wouldn't watch it more than once...ever.

18.     Jonah Hex     RATING:  5/10
     PROS:  dead people talking, decent graphics... horses? OH! whores!... yup, that's it.
     CONS:  acting, plot, not enough explosions or explanations.
          Well this movie was better than Fire and Ice: TDC, simply because I was able to watch it more than once... but I was still confused.  How is he able to bring dead people back to life?! Frustrating! When they did bring the dead people back, it was very well done, think PotC1 kind of dead people.  The Plot was lame and most of the people cast were not extraordinary, this movie would have done better with a few more explosions.

19.     Prince of Persia     RATING:  5/10
     PROS:  cool effects, pretty girl, evil looking evil guy,
     CONS:  casting(he wasn't brown enough), lame ending
          Not much to say... they took a video game and made it into a movie.  The dagger was pretty and the ending was lame... I have never played the game, so that may be what is supposed to happen.  It was more the way they did it... like BAM! everything is better!  Not my favorite but it was entertaining.

20.     Moulin Rouge     RATING:  10/10
     PROS:  Musical.
     CONS:  ... wow ...
          THIS MOVIE IS AWESOME GO WATCH IT RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!
Yes, I know, a bit much.  But every once in a while there is a great movie.  This is one of them... it's a musical on drugs literally! How can it NOT be awesome??


Tata for now!

Harry Potter 1

I couldn't wait any longer I HAVE to do a in depth review on Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone.  Such a good film in so many ways.

Ok, on with the good points:

1.     The entire soundtrack is epic, that's a fact.  It's just so exciting and majestic and new all at the same time.
2.     The great film work.  It makes Hogwarts look epic in every way the book did, very good shots there.
3.     Animation.  The ghosts, the troll, Voldemort's soul flying away(very The Mummy). Very well done, it didn't take away from the actual people.  Great.
4.     It actually went along with the book, may have skipped some little things but there wasn't that many little things in the book anyway.
5.     Casting.   Hermione Granger is great, could be a little poofier but that's fine.  MacGonagal is so great! Constant stern look but with a little mischief in the eyes - perfect.  Dumbledore is exactly how I pictured him in the book, really old and slightly crazy.  Filtch ... gross ... which is perfect.


And the bad points:

1.     Casting.  Harry Potter is supposed to have black hair and green eyes!  Alan Rickman is 60-something acting as a 36 year old character... what the hell???
2.     Felt rushed in the way things were happening(either that or I just read the book very slow).
3.     Rubeus Hagrid was kicked out of Hogwarts at third year... and yet he can do wordless magic with a broken wand hid in an umbrella.  AND wordless human transfiguration!!!  There is no way he could have known that at third year.  And he was kicked out because of a murder... shouldn't he be in Azkaban?  Another thing... this may sound weird but Hagrid's butt looks weird.


I wouldn't go as far as saying that this movie is perfect or anything, but it does do a fairly decent job.  This is my favourite Harry Potter movie, with Prisoner of Azkaban as my favourite book.  I like it because there is magic in it, and not just the 'actual' magic, it's a new world to explore, there's new things to discover, new things to see.  It's childlike in it's innocence, it's almost as if you go back in time to age eleven and get a letter written in green ink and sealed with wax.

End of an Era - Oliver Boyd and the Remembralls

11-15

11.    Underworld 2
12.    Underworld 3
13.    The Wolfman
14.    Battlefield: Earth
15.    The Rite

Surprisingly no Johnny Depp in this batch.  But I did continue with the underworld movies... its like PotC, LotR and HP, you gotta watch them all..... POKEMON CATCH 'EM ALL!!!

and bring it back to earth
...

11 and 12     Underworld 1&2           RATING:  7/10
     PROS:  blood, guts, gore. same cast as the first one(AWESOME)
     CONS:  werewolves still a bit funky in UW2.
          Overall pretty decent, I preferred UW3 to either UW1 or 2.  It is shorter but it is superior, 1&2 just seem demented to put it nicely.  3 gives you the history then 1 gives you the war and romance, 2 gives the revolution... but there is no true ending so there may just be a 4 someday

13.     The Wolfman          RATING:  7.5/10
     PROS:  good story, good gore, epic battle
     CONS:  ... weird cast, bad romance, bad acting
          Could have been done better, but then most things can be.  The chick is weird creepy, the gypsys are freaky(which is actually a good thing).  I think it was supposed to be a horror film... in some places you can see it but in others its just bad lighting.  The end was typical... infect the one who never believed at all.  It was enjoyable.

14.     Battlefield: Earth          RATING:  3/10
     PROS:  John Travolta, War, Explosions
     CONS:  ???????????
          I can't even explain the number of horrors this movie caused.  I watched the whole thing with a WTF face, not recommended.

15.     The Rite          RATING:  9/10
     PROS:  Great acting, good story, very watchable
     CONS:  it was horror?
          I seriously don't know why this movie is in the genre horror... it wasn't horror-y at all!  The scariest part is when the cat attacks the window!  The rest of it was just a mindsuck... the visions were wicked.  Sweet movie, go watch it!


Until next time... or whenever I feel like it I suppose.

6-10

And here come movies number 6-10!!!! And the crowd goes wild!!!!!

6.  Public Enemies
7.  Taken
8.  The House Bunny
9.  SS Doomtrooper
10.  Underworld 1

Still with the Johnny Depp, but only one this time... Liam Neeson is a great replacement though.  Some comedy, some tragedy, lots of action and one of the stupidest movies to ever be made... EVER!

6.  Pros:  Johnny Depp, Christian Bale, Guns, Old time feel, jail break
    Cons:  A little draggy, already knew the ending
Rating:  8/10

7.  Pros:  Liam Neeson, Kidnapping in a different country, Epic-ness,
    Cons:  ... um... there was no boat race?
Rating;  9.5/10

8.  Pros:  LOL!!!, lets transform a bunch of weirdos into hot chicks!  Joanne
    Cons:  Cheesy, towards the end it gets a bit pathetic, and there's mushy crap mixed in
Rating:  7/10

9.  Pros:  ... it passed the time?
    Cons: they actually made this movie
Rating: 1/10

10.  Pros:  Decent cast, action, vampires and werewolves and no friggen SPARKLES!!!
      Cons:  mildy boring, choppy werewolf movements, and Davy Jones as a vampire is creepy
Rating:  7/10


A little shorter with this one, its late...

Rubberboots!

1-5

Ok, I know I should have started this like in January, but life happens... and I never actually figured I'd even be writing a blog in the first place, so let's just go with it shall we?

So the first five movies are:
1.  Pirates of the Caribbean
2.  Pirates of the Caribbean 2
3.  Pirates of the Carribean 3
4.  Sweeney Todd
5.  Meet the Robinsons

A nice array of movies, a little heavy on the Johnny Depp, but when is that a bad thing?  I was only going to watch one PotC movies, but I mean really, you have to watch them all.

As for Sweeney Todd??? Blood, Singing, Johnny Depp singing, Helen.... um... Bellatrix singing and Alan Rickman singing! The only downside to this movie is ... gold pants (EEWWWW!!!)!!! So gross! And Timothy Spall like, that's all I have to say on that subject.  While he may be a great guy... he killed James and Lily Potter!! He is to be HATED!!! not to mention he's creepy as all get out.

And lets go with Meet the Robinsons... it was on tv so I watched it, it was Sunday afternoon and it was either that or the dog show and I tried to watch the dog show.  Nothing against this movie, I'm just not in the 6-12 year old age group this was intended for. 

Ok, so, CONCLUSION:

1,2,3 :  Pros:  Johnny Depp, Pirates, Arg, and Johnny Depp
           Cons:  Disney, Pigs and Multiculturalism(not very piratey)
Rating:  8.5/10

4:  Pros:  Blood, Singing, Alan Rickman, Johnny Depp and Pies!
    Cons:  Gold pants, creepy individuals, and piss with ink
Rating:   8/10

5.  Pros:  T-Rex, time machines, and Doris
    Cons:  Age group is 6-12, and Cheesy
Rating:  5/10


Rubberboots!